My phone is at peace again. It kept blowing up with messages during the campaign season. Everybody wanted money.
Of course, I gave nobody any. I am an honest journalist. However, I am also a late 20th-century man, and I am not in control of my wife. She thinks she is my equal. That is on her charitable days.
She sends money to Democrats the way my grandmother used to give food to hoboes. We did not have a homeless problem in Chicago, but we had hoboes. They were not the romantic kind who hopped freights and inspired Jack Kerouac. They were men who wandered up and down the alleys.
Nobody thought they were dangerous. Perhaps we were naive. People did all sorts of iffy things. We picked up hitchhikers and hitchhiked ourselves. Women let strangers into their homes. The strangers were door-to-door salesmen. Sometimes they sold encyclopedias so the women鈥檚 children would be able to get ahead in this world. Sometimes they sold household products. The Fuller Brush Man was iconic. These men were taught that the last four letters in American are 鈥淚 can.鈥
People are also reading…
Evangelist Billy Graham got his start as a Fuller Brush Man. So did Pee-wee Herman.
Maybe we should have been afraid. Hoboes at the back door, salesmen at the front.
My favorite hobo was Gym Shoe Johnny. In his honor, one of my friends became known as Gym Shoe Jimmy. His mother must have bought a set of encyclopedias, because Jimmy became a mortgage broker. Still, his oldest friends called him Shoe. He died last year.
The solicitations on my phone were too numerous to read. Still, I read a few of them. They were either jubilant or desperate. I liked the jubilant ones and saved a couple.
On July 10, I received one with this headline: 鈥淏iden Soaring!鈥
That came a week and a half after his disastrous debate performance. The long knives were already out.
I saved one such message from two years ago. I received it on Oct. 30, 2022. 鈥淪urging!鈥 it says. It was from the Senate campaign of Trudy Busch Valentine. She was days away from being crushed.
I am reminded of the dispatches from Cambodia in 1975. The government announced it had won a decisive battle against the Khmer Rouge 25 miles from Phnom Penh. A couple of days later, the government announced an even more decisive victory five miles from the capital. The final dispatch announced a major victory at the airport on the city鈥檚 outskirts.
I am not comparing Donald Trump to Pol Pot. I think the Democrats were wrong to compare him to Hitler. Trump has shown no appetite for genocide. The Dems were also wrong to call Trump a fascist. If he aspires to dictatorship, it will be a non-ideological one.
Vladimir Putin might be a role model. He is not fanatical about communism. He allows economic freedom to the Oligarchs. Now and then, an Oligarch falls first out of favor and then out a window.
The lesson from Putin is this: You don鈥檛 have to throw them all out a window. Just one every now and then.
The new president will not have to shut newspapers down. We鈥檙e shutting down on our own. For the few that are still going strong, a legal whipping might be in order.
What did Tucker Carlson say? Daddy is angry, and he鈥檚 going to spank you.
Spank one hard, and the others will fall in line.
Same with cable television. Arrest one or two talking heads for national security reasons, and the others will tone down the dangerous rhetoric.
Who would stop the president? The Supreme Court is on his side. He cannot commit a crime if he is acting in official capacity. The federal bench is being filled with his loyalists.
If Congress were to declare Jan. 6 a national holiday 鈥 Patriots Day 鈥 what would that matter to you and me? A day off. More football on television. All good.
It would probably be necessary for the states to adjust their curriculums to explain that what the media called a riot, or even an insurrection, was a justifiable and completely honorable reaction to a stolen election.
If a teacher balked at teaching the new orthodoxy, he or she would be fired immediately. You wouldn鈥檛 have to fire a lot of teachers to get the message across. Teach the curriculum and keep your mouth shut in the teachers鈥 lounge. The walls have ears.
That should not scare anybody who is not talking treason.
Perhaps you think this is the product of a feverish liberal mind. Maybe President Trump will rule with a generosity of spirit 鈥 with malice toward none and charity toward all. A famous RINO said that. It is probably not wise to quote him.
There is certainly reason for optimism. Our own Andrew Bailey was on the short list for attorney general. As the top legal officer in this state, he refused to investigate the illegal gambling machines in so many of our rural gas stations because the company that provides those machines gave him money. He is steadfast and loyal. No amount of criticism could sway him.
Sadly, the president-elect did not select Bailey as A.G. Instead, Matt Gaetz was the choice.
I want to be on record saying that he was an excellent choice. The administration is off to a wonderful start.
And for those who disagree, stay away from open windows.
